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April 0, 2006
TDJ Blog!
The URL is "http://dailyjournal.tripod.com/blog"

August 1, 2006
It's amazing how little time things take when you actually decide to do something about it.

Like there was this one time that a goat was terrorizing the neighborhood but everyone wanted to pretend like there was no problem. Trampled daisies? What trampled daisies? Those aren't muddy hoof prints on my car. Pay no attention to the steaming pile of goat guano, it isn't really there.

On sunny Sunday afternoon I had finally had enough. Ten minutes and two tranquilizer darts later (sorry about the wild first shot, Mr. Divito) and the goat was in the trunk of my car, ready to be turned into quick cash at the nearby International Grocery.
Now Playing : You Can Fly! - Peter Pan

entry # 2,934

August 2, 2006
My company recently sold for over 15 million and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
Now Playing : With What I Should Have Said--Terry Taylor

entry # 2,935

August 3, 2006
I am emotionall invested in the commodities market. GO HOG FUTURES!

entry # 2,936

August 4, 2006
I plan on keeping my Superbowl virginity until the right team comes along. Never watched it... never know who's playing.

entry # 2,937

August 5, 2006
I once knew a man who was friend to the friendless, which meant that they were no longer friendless so he dumped them like a basket of weevils. But then they were friendless again and.. well, it's a viscious viscious cycle.

entry # 2,938

August 6, 2006
Two years ago I beat a murder wrap by prending I was a halibut.

entry # 2,939

August 7, 2006
I'd take medicine for my irritable bowel but it would interfere with my ability to speak with condiments.

entry # 2,940

August 8, 2006
When faced with making a difficult decision I pretend that I'm suffering a Mac Attack.

entry # 2,941

August 9, 2006
Every third Wednesday I force my family to don mascot outfits and parade around the neighborhood. Being the head of the household means I get to wear the aardvark.

entry # 2,942

August 10, 2006
In high school I was voted off the island.

entry # 2,943

August 11, 2006
I am not and have never been koo koo for Cocoa Puffs.

entry # 2,944

August 12, 2006
Beneath my thick, luxurious back hair is a pocked landscape of simmering backnee.

entry # 2,945

August 13, 2006
If you stare deeply into my eyes you will soon notice my severe halitosis.

entry # 2,935

August 14, 2006
In September 2012 I will liquidate my families assets and invest them in blank VHS tapes. I'll corner the market and make millions for sure!

entry # 2,946

August 15, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,947

August 16, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,948

August 17, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,949

August 18, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,950

August 19, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,951

August 20, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,952

August 21, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,953

August 22, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,954

August 23, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,955

August 24, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,956

August 25, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,957

August 26, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,958

August 27, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,959

August 28, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,960

August 29, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,961

August 30, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips

entry # 2,962