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April 0, 2006
TDJ Blog!
The URL is "https://dailyjournal.tripod.com/blog"
August 1, 2006
It's amazing how little time things take when you actually decide to do something about it.
Like there was this one time that a goat was terrorizing the neighborhood but everyone wanted to pretend like there was no problem. Trampled daisies? What trampled daisies? Those aren't muddy hoof prints on my car. Pay no attention to the steaming pile of goat guano, it isn't really there.
On sunny Sunday afternoon I had finally had enough. Ten minutes and two tranquilizer darts later (sorry about the wild first shot, Mr. Divito) and the goat was in the trunk of my car, ready to be turned into quick cash at the nearby International Grocery.
Now Playing : You Can Fly! - Peter Pan
entry # 2,934
August 2, 2006
My company recently sold for over 15 million and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
Now Playing : With What I Should Have Said--Terry Taylor
entry # 2,935
August 3, 2006
I am emotionall invested in the commodities market. GO HOG FUTURES!
entry # 2,936
August 4, 2006
I plan on keeping my Superbowl virginity until the right team comes along. Never watched it... never know who's playing.
entry # 2,937
August 5, 2006
I once knew a man who was friend to the friendless, which meant that they were no longer friendless so he dumped them like a basket of weevils. But then they were friendless again and.. well, it's a viscious viscious cycle.
entry # 2,938
August 6, 2006
Two years ago I beat a murder wrap by prending I was a halibut.
entry # 2,939
August 7, 2006
I'd take medicine for my irritable bowel but it would interfere with my ability to speak with condiments.
entry # 2,940
August 8, 2006
When faced with making a difficult decision I pretend that I'm suffering a Mac Attack.
entry # 2,941
August 9, 2006
Every third Wednesday I force my family to don mascot outfits and parade around the neighborhood. Being the head of the household means I get to wear the aardvark.
entry # 2,942
August 10, 2006
In high school I was voted off the island.
entry # 2,943
August 11, 2006
I am not and have never been koo koo for Cocoa Puffs.
entry # 2,944
August 12, 2006
Beneath my thick, luxurious back hair is a pocked landscape of simmering backnee.
entry # 2,945
August 13, 2006
If you stare deeply into my eyes you will soon notice my severe halitosis.
entry # 2,935
August 14, 2006
In September 2012 I will liquidate my families assets and invest them in blank VHS tapes. I'll corner the market and make millions for sure!
entry # 2,946
August 15, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,947
August 16, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,948
August 17, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,949
August 18, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,950
August 19, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,951
August 20, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,952
August 21, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,953
August 22, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,954
August 23, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,955
August 24, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,956
August 25, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,957
August 26, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,958
August 27, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,959
August 28, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,960
August 29, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,961
August 30, 2006
Kielbasa
Now Playing : All We Have is Now--The Flaming Lips
entry # 2,962