The Month That Wasn't
Now Playing: Sandy Patti's Collection of Punk Rawk covers

When a whole month goes by without an update to The Daily Journal, it can only mean one thing.

 

We're not wearing any pants.

Everything smells like...
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Somethin's Gotta Give by Bleu
Topic: boogers
It just occured to me that, because of the design of the human nose, everything we smell must smell like boogers.

Hot Feeling
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Rendezvous : Potrero Hill by Architecture in Helsinki

We had a Japanese client visit our office for a few days and one of my jobs was to take him out to eat a few times. We visited my favorite Thai restaurant in town and had some VERY SPICY dishes. The next morning he approached me and said, "I had a very hot feeling in the toilet this morning."

I'm pretty sure that's the first time anyone has ever said that to me. 

Nicknames
Now Playing: Out of Exile by Audioslave
Topic: nicknames
Getting a nickname from the other boys at school is pretty cool, unless they stick you with the nickname, "Turdlicker McGee."

TDJ labs is at it again
Now Playing: Radio for Heartache by Freedy Johnston
Topic: food

We just came up with a new product idea. Currently we just have the name. We'll fill in the gaps as soon as we get all of the research back. Here it is...

 Super-Banana-Popcorn-Hotdog-Slurpee

 

Now Playing: True Margrit - True
My department has decided to confiscate the old microwave that for the last year has sat unused in the corner of the break room.  We're going to move it to our area and put things in it that we'd never dare in our home microwaves, things like tin foil or kittens or kittens wrapped in tin foil.

Change Back?
Now Playing: 3 - Soul To Sell

Office life is a bit like camping - you just make do with what you have.  Yesterday I had me some tasty grilled salmon while dining at my desk, using my trusty spoon from home.  No time to wash up after lunch the spoon went into my coffee cup.  This morning, needing something to stir my coffee, I grabbed the spoon and stirred.  Mmmm... salmon coffee!

 

And yes, this entry is mondo-lame but so is our site.  If I have time later this life I'll convert us back to the old, and apparently more inspiring, format. 

Now Playing: Mark Heard - House of Broken Dreams
I'm planning to have myself trepanned later this week, not so I can experience a mind-altering level of consciousness but so I can pour my coffee directly on my brain.

Vacations
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: The Wiggles
Topic: travel
I've spent much of the last couple of weeks either travelling on vacation, or travelling for work. And let me tell you, Mozambique isn't nearly as nice as it looked in the travel brochures.

My Hat's Off To...
Now Playing: Start With the Ending by David Wilcox
Topic: spleen
One of my pet peeves is when you hear people say, "My hat's off to [so and so]," when they still have a hat on. You see this often during interviews with athletes and coaches on TV. If you say, "my hat's off," and are wearing a hat, you should say something else, like, "I'm too lazy to actually take off my hat, but..." or "My hat's on to..." I take this very seriously. When I say, "I wave my spleen to..." I really have my spleen in my hands, waving in the air.

Modern Technology
Now Playing: Amsterdam by Guster
Topic: blogging
Now that we've made it easier for us to keep The Daily Journal updated with the blog format, none of us bother to update it.

Uh oh...gotta run. The horse is running off with my buggy and I have my slide rule in the back.

Now Playing: ZAAR - Sefir
My fingers smell like bleach.

Smells like tacos
Now Playing: Movin' On by Curt Kirkwood
Topic: cologne
I'm wearing a new cologne that smells like old tacos. How ironic.

Freudian Slip
Now Playing: "The Inside of My Head" - David Wilcox
Topic: sausage
I'm not sure how this happened or if there's any sort of a Freudian Slip meaning to the incident, but earlier today I went up to the food counter at Costco and said something very odd. Instead of saying, "I'd like one polish sausage, please," as I intended, I said, "I'd like to be one with the polish sausage, please."

The Official Food of the United States
Now Playing: "Thunderstorm" - Matthew Sweet
Topic: nachos
Realizing that we do not have an "Official Food of the United States" my family decided to take a vote. Thanks to my three kids having the majority in the family, we'll be sending a note to our Congressman asking him to recommend "Nachos" as the "Official Food of the United States."

(I voted for Klondike Bars.)

Fishing
Now Playing: Wax The Cat, Joel - Fluid Imbibers
I live in a neighborhood where we have several water retention ponds. The nice thing about having these ponds in the neighborhood is that they're also stocked with Midwestern angling favorites like large-mouth bass, blue gill and crappie. It makes for fun, convenient fishing. However, some of the locals have taken it upon themselves to make it even better by bringing home fish caught from other bodies of water and letting them loose in our pond. I know this is true because just yesterday while fishing for blue gill using an earthworm as bait, I reeled in a fifty-pound Icelandic Cod. Not to worry, I simply fed it to one of the many walruses that live on the dock.

baseball
Just the other day I took my son to a professional baseball game downtown. As luck would have it, we managed to grab a foul ball as a momento of our trip. However, as we were leaving the stadium we were approached by a homeless man asking for change. "He just wants our money to buy booze," I informed my innocent child. But we didn't leave him empty-handed. If a baseball game ever breaks out, "Crazy Earl" has a ball and will be ready to play.

Who's the boss
Now Playing: Fish Heads - Barnes & Barnes
In a moment (ok, HOUR) of weakness I found myself watching an E! Network show called, Who's The Boss, the Inside Story--or somoething like that. Some of the cast members were talking about the fact that Tony Danza, the star of the show, would often yell at other cast members, writers and crew members when things didn't go the way he wanted. Co-star Judith Light, who played Angela, defended Danza by saying that he was "passionate" and that he wanted things done right. According to Light, Danza was a perfectionist and wanted to ensure that the show reflected a high level of professionalism. And then I thought to myself, "This is Who's the Boss we're talking about, right?

Golden Girls Easter Egg!
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Randy Stonehill - "I Will Follow You"
Topic: Golden Girls
The fifth season of The Golden Girls is now available on DVD. If you go to the main menu screen and select the image of Dorothy (Bea Arthur), you'll find an Easter Egg that leads to a deleted scene in which Blanche (played by Rue McClanahan) makes out with Mr. T. behind a dumpster in an elementary school parking lot. You heard it here first!

The Truth About Owls
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: "Easy" -- Matthew Sweet
Topic: owls
Owls are actually overweight birds. It's a scientific fact. They LOOK cool because they hide it with all of those feathers and the big dumb eyes--but they're just fatties.